life-laughs-blog

A Moment of Silence

Sat, 03 Jan 2009 03:17:15 +0100

I just want to take this moment to say my thoughts and prayers are with the Travolta family during this time. John Travolta’s son was found dead this morning, he was only 16 years old. A parent should never have to go through this, it is a terrible thought, and I am sure even a worse experience!

Happy New Years

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 23:23:58 +0100

I knew that becoming a parent changed everything but I don’t think I really came to that realization until last night! We were unable to get a babysitter so we stayed home which didn’t seem like a terrible idea at first until it was 10 p.m. and I was in bed! Yes that’s right 24 years old and in bed at 10 on New Year’s Eve.

We got a cake to enjoy considering starting tomorrow our diet will be looking a lot different! We I dished a piece out for Josh and myself not realizing I didn’t have any forks clean so I washed two for us and went to hand one to Josh and he wouldn’t take it. He was eating his with a butter knife I was like just take the fork! He refused, because it would make for a better story.

Today I spent the entire day cleaning! Between the craziness of the holidays and having Josh’s mom around the housework took an extreme toll. At least is taken care of and we can get our schedule back to normal.

Plus Day Two

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:49:30 +0100

Good news – we received a phone call from the hospital this morning and Josh’s step father is going to be discharged tonight. Even better news he got the biopsy results back and he doesn’t even have cancer!

At lunch I gave Hunter a food that he had only tried one other time, so the first few bites he made a strange face (pretty normal). When Josh’s mother seen this she started coping it and saying “Tell mommy you don’t like that, tell her you don’t want that yucky stuff.” I asked her nicely to stop and he always does that with a new food and that she was making it very difficult to feed him. She proceeds to laugh and say “Well tell mommy you just don’t want that shit.” Funny thing after she walked away he ate just fine!

At dinner time she asked me if she could help out at all, and I was like I have dinner all under control but if Hunter starts fussing can you take care of him. So when he started getting fussy because he wasn’t getting all my attentions it was a repeat of last night she just set there looking at him!

Then at bedtime I was giving Hunter a bath and during his bath I read him stories. I have found that he pays more attention at this time than any other! So I start reading Dr. Seuss and she comes running up and why I was yelling at her grandson. I was like I am reading to your grandson, and I just told him no when he tried to crawl out of the duck. She was like well maybe he doesn’t want to be in that silly thing, I looked at her and was like that silly thing keeps him safe from bumping his head on faucet. She continued we never used anything like that, I was like yes however when they got close to the faucet you had to tell them no!

To the joy of not only me but Josh she has left for now! However she will be coming back Friday when her husband has to come back up to the hospital for factor-8 treatments!

Dance Baby Dance

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:44:25 +0100

With Josh working a shut down him and Hunter are going to bed at about the same time and I can’t bring myself to go to bed at 7 in the evening. Last night when I finally got upstairs Josh was sound asleep. I crawled into bed said I loved you and got comfortable a few seconds later Josh responded “Take a dance class, that will solve that.”

Plus Day One

Fri, 02 Jan 2009 00:13:18 +0100

Friday when we left Josh’s mothers house we brought her with us. Her husband (Josh’s step-father) was going to be admitted into the hospital till Monday. When we dropped them off at the hospital I thought that was going to be the last we seen of her until we went to visit! Oh how wrong was I, her mother called and asked if she could stay with us because she had not place to go. I told her mom that it wouldn’t be a problem, after all it was just till Monday and she’d only be sleeping her not spending time.

Now don’t get me wrong she is nice enough, just difficult to deal with in large quantities. When I try to have a conversation with her I feel like I am talking to a child, and she has a terrible tendency of talking to herself. Now these qualities are easy enough to over look it is the way she interacts or doesn’t interact with Hunter.

This afternoon I had him in the living room with her well I was getting his lunch and he was getting so cranky. So I was talking to him through the doorway “Just a second buddy I am almost done” and his mother just snapped in “Oh, he isn’t fussing he is fine. Just tell mommy that is you strengthen your lungs.” That comment just made me crazy, I know what my child wants and I am not going to deny him food. Then when I was getting dinner together he was getting tired and cranky and instead of playing with him or even just talking with him she just stared at him.

Here it is Tuesday evening with no end in sight. And tomorrow just like today I will be spending all day with her because she has no way to the hospital considering my car is broke down and Josh leaves early! All I hope is that when all is said and done her husband’s cancer is resolved.

Body Drama

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:39:35 +0100

From the time I can remember I many difficulties with my health, yet at the same time I was relatively healthy. Thing started my freshman year of high school in gym class. It was fall and we were playing soccer, one of my favorite games and every single time I went to kick the ball my knee would give out. I was told I had weak knees and had to wear braces for the rest of the year (which I typically didn’t do because they itched) and was forced to set out of gym.

I didn’t expeience a single symptom again until my senior year, when I started having urinary problems. I would get UTI’s like clockwork every month and by the time I got to the doctor’s I had a kidney infection. I went to specialist after specialist and nobody had answer for me. So the monthly kidney infection became a regular life style for me, and I had to plan accordingly.

Then in the fall of 2005 and winter of 2006 I was working at Staples and started to develop more evident problems. My vision was blurring, I was losing my balance, getting easily confused, and if I didn’t write information down I didn’t remember it. In all honesty I didn’t but any thought into these symptoms because I figured if I went to the doctor all I was going to get was well there is nothing wrong, it’s all in your head sort of thing.

The Break Through

I was lying in bed on night in January 2006 watching Strong Medicine. For those of you who are not familiar with the Lifetime series about woman doctors dealing with woman health issues in their clinic. As I watched the program unfold I felt like “Oh my God that is every single symptom I am dealing with.” At the end of the program the woman was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis, which sounded so scary. However the next morning I called my doctor and made an appointment for that day. I went in we discussed the problems I had been dealing with and he told me that it was probably nothing but he was going to run tests (a doctors favorite words!).

I patiently waited what seemed like forever for the results of the blood tests and the MRI finally I got a phone call. I had a lower than normal vitamin D level, and my thyroid was not working properly however they had not received my MRI results back yet. A few months went by and I forgot all about them, I figured that if there was a problem they would have called. One evening at work I started to feel the all too familiar symptoms and I was like I need to get answers, so I called the doctor’s office the next morning. Turns out the test results had been misplaced and I did in fact have Multiple Sclerosis.

My Daily Life with MS

Now almost three years later my life is not at all the same. I do not have physical symptoms daily however I am reminded of the condition first thing in the morning every day good or bad with a shot. That’s right I have to give myself a shot everyday on top of the pills I have to take for my vitamin D levels, my thyroid, and to help with my concentration and memory.

However all the medications are well worth it because they help to lower the physical symptoms I suffer which is safer for my son. Some days it just seems so hard, and I don’t want to give myself another shot but I know I have to for Hunter!

Becoming Mommy

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:30:55 +0100

On March 11^th I had my final doctor’s appointment. Everything went great, I had started to dilate and they said it shouldn’t be much longer! That was the best news I had heard in a long time, I still had two weeks till my due date, but I was more than ready for this experience to be over! All day I had been feeling a strange feeling in my stomach (contractions) so I went back to the doctors that afternoon. They determined I was experiencing Braxton hick’s contractions, which made me say “I have changed my mind!”

Around 8 p.m. I was so uncomfortable the “Braxton hick’s contractions” where getting worse and closer together. I talked with the doctor on call and was told that I could come in and be checked, but they’d probably just send me home. Come midnight I couldn’t handle it any longer and my sister drove me to the hospital. Turned out I was actually in early labor!

At about 4 a.m. on the 12^th they sent me home with a sleeping pill to rest and get something to eat. We stopped at McDonald’s then went straight home. Honesty I didn’t think I was going to be able to rest, but the pill let me get some much needed sleep between contractions! Around 10 a.m. we were heading back to the hospital where I had to wait in the hall for a room to be cleaned up for twenty minutes or so.

The next thing I remember I was questioning why anyone had more than one child by free will. It was not long after that I was asking for an epidural, which I couldn’t have because of my Multiple Sclerosis. So I was forced to deal with the pain, which looking back wasn’t too bad, then again I was passing out between contractions so my memory isn’t so good! Luckily I wasn’t in labor for too long I went from 6 centimeters to fully dilated in 20 minutes. After pushing through just three contractions my son was born at 4 in the afternoon.

Looking back on that experience causes so many feelings, many of which can’t be put into words. All I know is that it was the best experience of my life, and I wouldn’t trade it for a single thing! Watching life through his eyes brings a new and exciting aspect to every day.

What I know about now!

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 21:29:39 +0100

I know how I got here, and I am sure glad I ended up here. During difficult times in the past I thought for sure that my life would never work out. Boy I could not have been more wrong, I have a wonderful boyfriend who I love more than almost anything and our son is my entire world! I am lucky enough to be able to be a stay at home mom to Hunter, and miss nothing. There is nothing more exciting than when he realizes he can do something new that look on his face warm my entire heart. My boyfriend has stuck by my side through a devastating diagnosis and an unplanned pregnancy without one bit of grief.

If I could only thank one person for getting me here, it would have to be my sister. She is most defiantly my hero; she put up with tons of crap and practically raised me! She has been by my side through thick and thin, not a single question asked, asking for nothing in return. I wish I know of some way to repay her, and show her how much she truly means to me.

Needless to say many of the choices I made where not the best possible choices. I dated guys where were scum and treated me terribly. During high school I lost a very close friend in a tragic car accident and it has affected me every day since. The summer before I went to college my mother’s now ex-husband tried to rape me. I have started school three or four different times and dropped out each time for various lame reasons. I was unexpectedly diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis in April 2006, which was a surprise but a blessing.

Even though all of these things are difficult and terrible I would not change a single thing, because these events have made me who I am today. I am a wonderful mother to an amazing little boy who makes every single day worth living no matter the difficulties I am going through. A caring, compassionate, loyal to the end girlfriend to a man who puts a smile on my face so large nothing is wiping it off by just walking through the door.